I had an a-ha moment just the other day, while driving to work. I was listening to the new Taylor Swift album (guilty pleasure) and it just hit me BAM!! So many things came into clarity. I’d like to think it was a divine intervention, or perhaps it was just Swift’s heartfelt lyrics in Dear John, but I came to the conclusion that life is an invisible bully knocking you down, but you have to keep getting up and mending your knees (you can quote me on that :)) Great thing about a new year is the ability to start fresh. I've thrown out the list of resolutions because quite frankly I just can't stick to them. I have however, made a pact with myself; a contract of sort seems more legitimate. I'm tackling my invisible bully head on and saying arrivederci! Life is going to continue knocking you down, shoving you and breaking you but it's all about getting back up! I must admit 2010 was a bittersweet year for me. Most of the good things happened these last few months, but I have learned a great deal from my failures and unfortunately, those whom disappointed me. Failure is the foundation of success. Without failure you have no comparison, no guidelines or lessons, no real appreciation for the success. So here are just two of the steps I’m gearing to follow for myself.
Step one: I have learned what I don't like about myself and I'm en route to changing it! Whew, easier said than done, but hey recognizing the problem is the first step.
Step 2: No more saying sorry... well when it is necessary of course I will. Let me explain, I find myself constantly apologizing to people who don't need and apology!!!! Sometimes, you have to STAND UP to your convictions. I say sorry to mend things even when it's not my fault, I and only I, allow myself to be pushed and taunted by others, oh no more!
As I mentioned before in my previous post, I have no idea about what life has in store for me, but I’m armed with my shield, with my mind and an intense power to be the best me possible. If you don’t like something change it! If you’re not happy in your relationships change it! I’m figuring the keyword here is change and for most people that’s a scary thought, but I embrace change… As I wiped the tears from my face arriving to work after my A-Ha moment, I felt at ease. I had a tough emotional last year but oops if I offend SCREW it. JUST LIVE.
I have included the lyrics to Dear John from the Speak Now album; hopefully if it applies it would help you too…
Oh tell me what’s your invisible bully?
Dear John
Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps, praying the floor wont fall through
Again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight
Well I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should have known
Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it's you and you're sick need to give love and take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark twisted games
When I loved you so
I should have known
You are an expert at "sorry"
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town...
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should have known
You should have known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should have known...
Counting my footsteps, praying the floor wont fall through
Again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
You paint me a blue sky
And go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules everyday
Wonderin' which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight
Well I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should have known
Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Maybe it's you and you're sick need to give love and take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now, it was wrong
Don't you think 19's too young to be played by your dark twisted games
When I loved you so
I should have known
You are an expert at "sorry"
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town...
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should have known
You should have known
Don't you think I was too young?
You should have known...